We are BEYOND amped to have this thrashing viking on the team. Witness natural force that is DAVE HELMER.
Dave is a Vancouver local who goes big. His mustache is 2 years old. For real. Don’t mess with dave, mostly cause he’s just so nice there’s no real reason too.
Here are some true facts about Dave:
This one time dave lived in a cave for 6 six week lickling slime off the walls for moisture. All just so he could build the will power to hit a big gap.
Dave was once struck by lighting, but he just harnessed the energy to grow all his hair at once.
Dave is king of a far away land called KONA, where all citizens are required to serve in the gullwing army and it raynes urethane. He bathes only in cash in this far away land.
This one time dave skated our bowl. . . . and it was awesome!
He is an official chef of the wok.
Dave has a keen fashion sense. Queer eye for the skate guy.
He also lofts fat beni’s!